If this is the life I had to lead,
And the world around me,
Is the end of days.
What do I feel after?

When all of this is lost,
And the world is over.
And my eyes will open again
In a new world.

Will I still taste your kiss?
Smell your breath?
Feel your skin?
Is the love inside
Will still feel the same?

Will I still hold your hand?
Feel your hug?
Hear your whispers
And good luck?


Or?

He who is gone

May not be forgotten

He who is breathless

Breathed in

Beats in.

The hand that's cold

My blood shall wash

Warmth

The heart that's gone

I will love.

The eyes that's close

I will heed

I need, I bleed.

Which my arms cannot hold,

Which my hands cannot touch,

Which my heart aches to love

My mouth aches to kiss

Thine ghost, lingers.

Thy love flounders, flourished.

plucked. 

Even the night
Is aware.
That you are not here.


The day,
the sun
hit my face
where your kiss
use to sit.


My words 
cannot lie.
Even the skies
knows
that you have left.

the dream

my dreams

my love appear,

to heal the ache

the heart that seeks.

awake my eyes.

my dreams subsides.

the ache

my heart

still lingers

from within.

death and love
for which is greater?
love or death?
what is to love when either have embraced death?
can love survive the grave?
the long for life, for touch
in death lingers.
for love has to hear, has to feel
the touch, the warmth, the ache beneath.


is my love greater when I die?
who will know of my love when you die?
will the world still whisper it?
the tide still take it?
the wind still nurture it? 


who will hear your shout for love?
when my ears are none to hear.
and when the grave finally claim you,
will our love then be forgotten?


when the beatings have ceased,
is the heart no more to love?
when thine arms cannot hold,
will love ceases?
when my arms cannot hold
my lips cannot kiss,
my heart cannot live.


will love survive death?


where my love would go?
when the world ends,
when the stars loses its spark,
and the seas have dried up,
the birds all but died.
and the flowers don't bloom.
and all this ceases to be.


will love be free?


is the ache to love still lingers in death?


for thine is the greatest, and ours survives it?


even for death, my love will lay.


where will your love lay?


for is death greater than love?
or even death cannot surpass love.090909

shadows of illusion

flesh, arise, cries
beneath the skin
the heart survives.
is this the end?
what of beneath?

the love, the life, the lies.
is it just the breath?
the beat? the flesh?

will it not stay forever?
or the fleshs' just,
shadows of illusion
illuminated by the sun.
the pain, the eyes.
that delusion 
of your presence.


is it really the end?
what lies beyond?
when not breathing,
not beating,
not seeing.

is the flesh just to touch?
the words to hear
the taste of the skin,
the kiss.

is this the end?
or our presence,
just a mere glimpse
into eternity?

the amaranth of infinity,
while the grave
awaits. 
090909 

I wanted to
So much,
To be wasted,
To be stoned.
But my tortured soul

only can manage

This words

 
I wanted to
so much,
to go to rehab,
kick the booze,
kick the pills.
But all my suffering
can only manage
this scribbled words.

i wanted to
so much,
to have the weed,
I heed.
But my broken spirit
only can manage
this fusing of pathetic words.


the need
the speed
begging for the next hit
but all that's in me
are my words
I bleed

My poetic self
wants the needle,
the smoke, the bottle.
The highs and lows.
But I can only manage
this
mangled words.
110909 0345P

My soul

the window to my soul
you look, you hid
you lay awake
neath the curse of death

my soul, it weeps
when you lay awake
you live there
you breath there
your heart beats there.
090909

perish will be,
none will be,
me, at the end
will just be dust,
memories in the wind.
aye, my love will remember
but to all will forget.
but i hope
my words
will linger forever.

new hues

the new may appear blue and some gray hues.
it may seem smiles are all around.
but broken hearts lies beneath an empty heart.
it dwells, it buries itself. deep and dark
and it will grow.
this is the day when I last saw you.

you are here yesterday when I wrote that I Love You. and you are here again when I post your picture. i think you are always here beside me eventhough you haven't been to my dreams again. maybe that's why you haven't been there... as you are always beside me. As we've promised.
maybe that's why i haven't felt you because you are right here inside me, beside me.
I still ached though. for your voice. laughter. and all you. i really hope there would still be me.... and you beyond here.

There is nothing left of me...
Apart from this heart that's empty..
A shell of myself still beating, still breathing...
I buried my soul with you.
My love with you.
It may change, but now...
All that's left of me...
Is You.
your love
memories
smile
laughter
smell
touch
all that is you.
And my words.

I LOVE YOU Until there's no more to love,
Like the dew sticks to the leaves & falls to the ground,
Like the rain soaks the earth & the heat lifts it away,
Like I breath to live
Until it stops, until I cease, until I cease to love.
I LOVE You. More that you know. More than I know it myself. More than I was willing to admit. More than we both know. Maybe not more, but I love You.

angry hearts

When the heart forgets to love then what's it's use. Better rip it out. I'm done with you. Or maybe I thought I do. Can't stand the pain. Now better to hate? There is nowhere to go. The world is contracting. Even in the next world there's you. Nowhere to hide.

Healed, right? Why are tears still here? Why are my thoughts still has you? Why is your voice still ringing in my ears, laughter. Hanging.
You'll forever have the key. I am alone. I thought I was free. Free to go. Free to move on. Your memories still haunts m.e.
I am now. You are here.

Pleasant day but.....
Still counting the passing clouds, hoping you'd be there. checking my phone, hoping you'd be there. pathetic life this is turning to be. Messy.

My all I have given. Time to crawl out of my grave. The light doth shine may not be the same, the heart may be gone,. the spirit crushed. But beating, living. Awaits the day I crawl back in again.

One battle I can't win. One war I've lost forever. One sunset never to shine again. you. iyl- forever.

I thought the world would stay the same till I take my last breath. But it has since turn very cold when your heart ceased beating. CAE. Forever. Walking along the long life road without you, like walking on roses thorns on my bare feet. Aching, hollow, lonely, cold, shallow. Hope in the feet of the mountain dew, you await my presence. Till then. My soul, waits. Your heart, forever mine. As one. Will linger.

ordinary day

outside the circle- inside the circle.
didn't realized how difficult it is inside the circle. been just dreaming before. can't write again. too much emotions. too raw. can't see the end of the tunnel. or if there will be a tunnel, maybe a pit. Can't crawl out.